So make the most of everything you dream of: Grace & Zoe At 4 Weeks

So, while I knew it would be difficult to keep up this blog, even I'm surprised at how long it has been for me between posts. I'm not even sure I've taken the computer out in nearly a week. Thank goodness for smartphones, huh?

That being said, I cannot believe that Grace and Zoe are four weeks old today! Where has time gone? They are truly becoming bigger and starting to take on that true "baby" look, versus tiny newborns. Gracie is really filling out, but Zoe isn't that far behind!

Other things we've noticed that they are doing:
-The girls are "talking" more -- chattering, grunting, barking, etc.
-They seem to be more aware of each other now. While one can still cry and not wake up the other, their crying or chatter often causes the other to stir, or to chatter back in response
-They are looking at things more -- for instance, they are focusing on the animals over the play-yard in their pack-n-play, or on the mobiles in their cribs
-They are holding up their heads more and getting stronger, especially when we hold them over our shoulders
-They love walks around the house, looking at picture frames, or bright lights
-They seem responsive to music and have been going to sleep at night with their lullabies playing
-We have had a couple of baths in the tub now and while there is still some crying involved, they seem to enjoy them -- especially the warm washcloth on their stomachs and getting their hair washed

We've had a busier couple of weeks, too -- we're finally getting out of the house some, which is exciting and often daunting and time-consuming. In the past few weeks, we've made trips to Kohl's and Sam's Club. We spent several hours at my company picnic this past Friday, with the girls sacked out in their car seats, as their admirers circled past them. It was very nice to get out to see many of my colleagues and also to show off the babes. We also went to Brightwood on Saturday so the girls could meet their great grandfather for the first time. He was so excited to hold them, and it was a moment to treasure for me, for sure.

The girls seem to be doing well sticking to their day schedule -- nights are taking more work. It seems that if one is sleepy, the other is awake. Or, someone will take so long to fall back to sleep that it's practically the next feeding and the other is awake. We are managing, though, and are always pleasantly surprised when we get 2 or 2.5 hours of sleep in a row-- rare as this event may be.

It's been so much fun to watch both girls grow these past couple of weeks. They are each developing their own personality, for sure. I look forward to seeing how many of these traits remain core personality features as they grow. They are such fun girls, with overall good natures, and we just love spending time with them. Kate has been reading to them from Harry Potter nearly every day, which is so cute to watch. Zoe watched several old Bulls game with me, along with most of the Olympics men's basketball gold medal game... she's already got her Michael Jordan tongue going on, and I couldn't be more proud. Grace is definitely our cuddler, but Zoe zonked out on me yesterday for quite some time -- all warm and snoring away.

I am very curious to see what the next four weeks bring...

Grace and Zoe turning 3 weeks old and enjoying their Nap Nannies from Melissa




Grace











Zoe











Reading with Mom


Pack & Play Time


At Mama's Company Picnic


Meeting Great Grampa


You can find more two to four week photos here.

The Other Side of the Curtain

(This is slightly overdue - seeing as the girls are already over three weeks old! But better late than never, right?)

One of Kris' co-workers gave me some pre-csection advice: stay on my side of the curtain. He urged me to just keep focused on Kris and keep my eyes away from the nitty gritty (aka bloody) parts on the other side of the sheet. I kept thinking about that as I sat in the little chair outside the OR, waiting for a nurse to come bring me in. Kris was getting her spinal put in and I was told to sit in a strange office chair that was positioned awkwardly outside the mechanical doors that led to the surgical suite. Up until that point I had been with Kris every step of the way, so it felt really odd to be left out there, swiveling back and forth with anxious energy.

My version of the rest of the day really doesn't vary too much from the story that has already been posted. Once I was led into the OR, they were just about ready to start. It felt like only minutes went by before they were showing us Grace over the curtain and laughing about how she really did come into this world pooping. I popped out of my seat and followed the nurses over to the warmer where they started checking her out. Before I knew it, Zoe was squirming around in the warmer just next to her. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept going back and forth, snapping photos and trying to soak it all in. Everything went by in such a blur - one minute Kris and I were a family of two, and the next we were a beautiful family of four. 

Once the babies were checked and cleaned by the doctor in the OR, I was able to follow them back to the nursery where they were weighed, wrapped and tagged (literally!). They were wiggly and crying and nearly every picture I took was blurry, but I am still glad I captured as much as I could. I really wanted Kris to have something to look at so she wouldn't miss a thing. As the nurses worked to get the girls ready, I couldn't help but be anxious about Kris. I needed to know she was okay. I needed to be sure that my new family was still intact. Knowing that she had made it to the recovery room was music to my ears. Now we could start going through this journey together. Up until that point the burden (for lack of a better word) was on Kris. It was her body that was being put through so much to get these babies here safe and sound. Now that they had arrived, she and I could share the responsibility. It felt good to know that I could do more - for Kris, and for the girls.

Kris pretty much summed up excitement of the afternoon - her blood loss, the chaos of a room filled with so many medical personnel, the doctor throwing around the words "surgery" and "hysterectomy" as though they were things that we should just accept. It was scary. Watching my wife turn so pale just made my heart sink. I was sitting there holding my daughter and I couldn't do anything to help Kris. I had to put my trust in the doctor and nurses and just tell myself that they will help her get through this. And they did. It took time, but she made it through to the other side of that crazy day. 

And now we have two daughters.  Two perfect, tiny humans to call our own.  I am one very lucky lady, because not only do I have these two amazing kids, I also have an incredible wife to share them with.

-k

If There Was No You: Grace & Zoe Turn 2 Weeks Old

It is hard to believe that Grace and Zoe are two weeks old today! Where has time gone?

Here are the girls turning one week old, shortly before a trip to the pediatrician. We are happy to report that they are doing well and still gaining weight. No sign of jaundice last Monday! Zoe has another appointment tomorrow for a weight check, and we’re hoping she’s growing a lot! If so, they won’t have another appointment until they are one month old!

One week old…





Our first two weeks are going well. We have been home for over a week now, which has been wonderful. While everyone was so kind to us at the hospital, there is nothing like being home. I am enjoying being able to be up and around, with the ability to pick up the girls and contribute more! Imagine: a parent excited to have the ability to change diapers! We have been working hard to get the girls on a schedule, where they eat at least 8 times a day. While they are not always on board, it has been successful overall, and gives their two Type A parents some semblance of normalcy. For instance, right now, they are eating at 11 pm, 2 am, and 5 am, and sleeping fairly well between each feeding (** knock on wood ** ), so we are getting around 2 hours of sleep between each feeding. It doesn’t sound like much, but we will take it!

Since we were instructed to supplement the girls’ feeding with formula, we have a good routine down, with me starting by breastfeeding and Kate finishing up with a bottle. I’ve been lucky to pump enough that the girls are typically only eating formula at night – staves off the guilt a bit! It also gives each of us a chance to bond with each baby, which we really enjoy. We have our sleepy routine down pat – I think we can truly change diapers, feed, and prepare bottles in our sleep.

We are also lucky to have loving friends and family who have been amazing at helping us out. Our parents have stopped by for good chunks of time, allowing us to nap and shower. Never thought I’d see the day where my father folded my laundry! (A true sign that my life has changed – accepting such help!) My Mom has made us dinner and brings us lunch a couple of times a week, amongst many other tasks. Neighbors we barely know stopped by with a veritable feast. Another neighbor mowed our lawn. A friend did a major diaper and formula run for us… I’ve been floored by how generous everyone is and very touched. We are all very lucky, and we love seeing how loved our girls are! The girls have also met their younger cousins this week (still waiting on meeting the older boys). Aunt Karen, Pop, and Robyn stopped by last week for a visit, as did Aunt Mia, Uncle Robert, and Owen. Shockingly, so far, the kids aren’t too interested in each other, but we all know that will change eventually! Looking forward to some fun beach trips, cottage trips, and parties in the upcoming months and years!

I am also looking forward to being off medical restrictions, so we can move around more freely. We had been looking for a good day to take the girls for a walk around the neighborhood, but between the heat and various visitors, it took a while. Both Kate and I yearned for a little fresh air! We finally got our walk in on Sunday night.



We are also looking forward to the time when I’m able to go up and down the stairs freely, so we can start using our nursery bit by bit (and stop living in basically one room!). Poor Kate has the tedious task of fetching things from there – mainly clothes. I’m so ready to have free access to the girls’ wardrobe! Half the fun of having two little girls is dressing them up, right? ;) We are amazed to already see that clothes that fit the girls when they came home, particularly Gracie, are already too small – especially in length. She’s going to be a tall one! Even Zoe is starting to fill out some of her tiny onesies.

I will leave off with the girls’ two week pictures, along with a bunch of other pictures from the past two weeks.

Two Weeks: July 30th








Zoe & Grace




First Doctor Appointment (Z, G)


They love their rock and play sleepers (Thanks Schroll aunts!)


Little Zoe












Miss Grace












You can find more pictures of Grace and Zoe’s first two weeks here.

~Kristy

A Place in the World: Grace and Zoe's Birth Story

I’m not sure where to start with Grace and Zoe’s birth story, so I shall start with the day when we discovered when they would be born (if that makes any sense). The doctors had already scheduled a C-section for the girls on July 27th at the end of my 38th week, since both were breech (feet down). However, when we went to an ultrasound appointment on July 3, we were in for a bit of a surprise. My bloodwork had come back elevated, showing signs of cholestasis of the pregnancy, a liver/gallbladder issue that could eventually affect the babies. Because of that, the doctors told us, they were moving up the day to July 16th. We suddenly had less than two weeks to go.

I remember calling parents and friends to relay the news. But the enormity of the date didn’t really hit me until that evening in bed. I would meet my girls in two weeks – it felt like I’d been waiting for this moment for years.


The Night Before

Leading up to the 16th, I had problems sleeping at night. I wasn’t worried; I was excited (and, let’s face it, I was huge and unable to move around in bed without much effort). On the 15th, our friends Nicole and Katy arrived for a visit. They would be staying at our house to take care of our cats while we were in the hospital. Their company and distraction was wonderful. Kate’s parents stopped by and we all had pizza. After they left, we chatted with Nicole and Katy and played Wii games. Before I knew it, it was time to go to bed. I sat in bed most of the night, wondering how things would go. I couldn’t believe how much my life would have changed by the next day. I agonized over the spinal block and the IV (yes, those were my worries!), but most of all, I worried about the girls. Would they be big enough? Would they be healthy? I felt my stomach constantly to ensure they were moving. It was bizarre to think it was our last night “together.”



The Morning Of
Early morning arrived (not quickly), and I had slept very little. It took us little time to prepare –we had been packing our bags and getting ready for months. Now it was finally the big day. I said goodbye to the cats – the hardest part of the morning. Not sure if they understood that much would change for all of us. We said goodbye to Nicole and Katy, gathered our bags, and were off. The ride to the hospital went by amazingly quickly.



We parked in the parking garage and just walked into the hospital – one of the most surreal moments of my life. When I pictured having children – in an abstract sense – I always pictured a panicked rush to and in the hospital, with labor pains and all that jazz. Instead, we walked right up to the Labor and Delivery unit of Martha Jefferson Hospital and announced we were here for a scheduled C-section.

Our nurse for the morning came up, introduced herself, and took us back to a post-partum room where we would prepare for the C-section and then settle after the procedure. Everything still felt surreal; I was nervous, but mainly about the medical aspects. I’d never even spent a night in the hospital. However, the nurse was friendly and walked us through what would happen that morning. She hooked up my IV (one part I’d been dreading – only took two tries) and got us all prepared. Of course, by then, we’d received the announcement that they were backed up in the OR. We’d be waiting a little bit longer. We turned on the TV to the Today show, which was featuring an interview with a woman who’d given birth to twins and then contracted a life threatening flesh-eating bacteria. Comforting.



My Aunt Mare, who works at Martha Jefferson in Labor & Delivery, came by – she had generously offered and arranged to be in the OR with us during the C-section. Just knowing she would be there – for me and the babies – made me feel better. She talked with us and walked us through a few more things.

Before I knew it, it was time. We walked (well, I lumbered) down the lengthy corridors of MJ’s lovely Labor and Delivery Unit to the OR (seriously, their hospital is gorgeous ). Another extremely surreal moment. Once there, Kate was asked to wait outside for a bit while I was prepped. I was sad to leave her and grateful my aunt was there.

The OR
In the OR, I met the many nurses and doctors who would be helping with the girls’ birth. The anesthesiologist was a very calming woman who helped me feel more at ease, along with the other folks in the room – including the many nurses there for the girls, their pediatrician, and the doctor, Dr. Porter, who would be performing the procedure. I was prepped and given the spinal block – nothing I care to endure again – but less horrible than I expected. I immediately began to feel the effects of the anesthesia: talk about strange. The curtain was put up, Kate was brought in, and it was time to begin.

It was the most amazing and weird feeling to know the doctor was preparing to bring out our girls. Suddenly – and it seemed so quick to me – Dr. Porter was pulling out Grace. Someone held her up, and I couldn’t believe how big she was. People were saying she was nearly 7 lbs. She wasn’t crying until they put her in her little station to be checked. The doctors were laughing that she came out pooping. And then, almost immediately, they were holding up a crying Zoe (who also came out pooping), who looked smaller, but so cute.

Everything was a whirl then, as everyone started checking out the babies. They were so quick to reassure us that they were OK. Before I knew it, they were plopped down on my chest for me to see before they were whisked away to the nursery. It was the most magical moment to look into the eyes of my tiny little daughters. They seemed so small and yet so big. I remember Zoe’s little squished face and open, watchful eyes, and Grace’s amazing lips and sleepy eyes. I couldn’t believe how healthy and happy they seemed. I couldn’t believe they’d both fit inside me! We told the people in the rooms their first names – something that had been kept a secret for so long – and suddenly my daughters were here, being called by name, and present in this world. So amazing.









Before I knew it, they were gone, along with Kate, to the nursery, while I was “fixed back up.” My Aunt Mare was there to hold my hand. People came back in to tell me how big the girls were and that they were doing amazing, with great Apgar scores (9 for both). Grace weighed 6 lbs, 14 oz (20 inches long) and Zoe weighed 5 lbs, 11 oz (19.5 inches long). It was such a comforting feeling – all I had ever wanted was for them to be healthy. Aunt Mare headed off to tell the family everything was okay and then returned. Soon, all was done, and I was headed to the recovery room.

Recovery Room
The main thing I remember from the recovery room was how happy everyone was. When Kate finally came back, she was beaming. Aunt Mare was also beaming. All the nurses were so happy and telling me how healthy the twins were. Suddenly, they were wheeled back, and there they were – my girls. I couldn’t believe they came from me, that I had helped make them. They were beautiful little miracles.

The nurses helped me and Kate figure out how to nurse the girls and before I knew it, they were both nursing simultaneously (tandem nursing). The nurses were aflutter at how rare this was. I just couldn’t believe it – I felt like I was getting everything I’d ever wanted. I was also able to drink a little water and ginger ale – I had been parched since last night! I kept willing my legs to move and for the anesthesia to wear off so I could return to my post-partum room and introduce our family to the babies. It seemed to take forever, but soon, it was time. We were on the way to the next phase of our life.



Back In Room 3042
Once back in our room with the babies, the family was told they could come back. The grandparents arrived first – my Mom, my Dad and stepmom, and Kate’s parents. They were introduced to the girls for the first time and told their names – Grace Butler Hamilton and Zoe Katrina Hamilton. Grace was named after my Dad’s mom, one of the most peaceful and kind souls I’ve ever met, while her middle name is a family name in Kate’s mom’s family. Zoe was a name we simply liked, picked out once we knew we were having twin girls. We chose it randomly and never deviated – she was Zoe immediately, even in the womb. Her middle name, Katrina, was chosen after my dear cousin, Trina, who passed away in 2006 and was one of my best friends.

Watching my parents and Kate’s parents interact with the babies was one of the best moments of my life. No one had known the names, and I loved watching their reactions. I had always feared I would miss this moment while in the recovery room or OR, but Mare and my whole family helped make it possible that I was there for it. Each of their faces was filled with joy and amazement. I couldn’t help but watch my Mom closely, my dear Mom, who was a first (and second) time Gram on this day. My Mom, who retired from her job just to help care for these girls. It was wonderful. I felt so blessed.

Soon Nicole could come back, along with my Uncle John, and the room was filled with family and friends. Later, my Aunt Peg and Uncle Len would visit as well. It was clear that these little girls’ lives would be filled with love forever.







The Rest of the Day
The rest of the day would take a sudden turn, when I realized that I felt like I was bleeding profusely. The room was filled with happy family members and friends, and I was scared to upset anyone. I caught the eye of my Aunt Mare and called her over. Before I knew it, the room was emptied of people. Nurses descended on me. It would turn out that I was having terrible post-partum hemorrhaging. It was such an awful feeling. I remember feeling covered in sweat, with my hearing going out, and fearing the worst. The doctor was running worse case scenarios with me, and I was completely panicked. I kept looking up at my daughters and worrying, yet drawing comfort from their sleepy faces.

But, I was lucky to be in the hands of amazing doctors and nurses. My uterus – stretched to its max by two babies – was having problems contracting back down, and as a result, I was passing blood and clots. I was given medicine to help the contracting, along with other things. I remember the doctors continually feeling my uterus – stomach area – to see what it was doing and experiencing the worst pain ever. It was agony. Much of the rest of that day was a blur.

As a result of the blood loss, I was weaker than after a usual C-section and unable to get out of bed, and as a result, my vision for things after my daughters were born changed dramatically. I would be able to nurse them, but that was about it. My poor, dear, amazing wife was the one getting up to change the diapers, fetch the babies, and care for them. Eventually, in the days to come, she would be the one to help me slowly around the room. I don’t know what I would have done without her quiet calm and amazing caregiving abilities. I drew my strength from her and the girls…



And there you go. July 16th: the day my life changed forever—but only for the better. It was a long time coming, but they were worth every bit of the wait.

I love you, Grace and Zoe. Mama is so glad you’re here.
~Kristy